There was no magic potion. Week after week of constant screaming would roll by and I would tell myself it would suddenly all slot into place and I'd have two sleepy angels. It didn't. I was terrified and too exhausted, both physically and mentally, to leave the house. The times I did were a disaster and only made me feel more desperate, more alone, and more like a failure and I'd leg it home to the sound of screaming in stereo.